Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Winter Poem

It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Canada
Cuz I'm frozen to the ground!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

5 simple rules of Happiness

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Senior Bank Client - Upset and Getting Even

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. 

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it...

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number
of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows: 

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be
       communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier. 

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my
       automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.  Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

And remember: Don't make old People mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

Friday, December 3, 2010

We are not there yet!

Harmonica in Carnegie Hall

This harmonica player, Buddy Greene is fabulous. Turn up your speakers and enjoy. For those of you who do not know, the theme song from the Lone Ranger comes from the William Tell Overture. This gentleman is awesome! A standing ovation at Carnegie Hall playing a harmonica!  It took the Lone Ranger theme song (The 1812 Overture)  to bring them to their feet.






Sunday, November 28, 2010

RIP, Leslie Nielsen: Screen Test for Benhur (video)




Thursday, November 18, 2010

Pale Blue Dot























Monday, November 8, 2010

Take charge of your entertainment: Conan



Saturday, November 6, 2010

Be patient!


"The quality of patience involves tolerance. Yes, but there are many ways of tolerating. You may be exasperated by certain actions or words, and even if you remain motionless and silent you may be boiling inside with feelings of anger and rebellion.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Rob Ford - A Fat $%^&?





With thanks for the link to Roger Ebert.



Thursday, November 4, 2010

Can you hear me?


... -.-. .. . -. -.-. . / .- -. -.. / -- --- - .... . .-. / -. .- - ..- .-. . / .- .-. . / .. -. / .- / -- .- .-. .-. .. .- --. . / .-- .... . .-. . / ... -.-. .. . -. -.-. . / .. ... / .- .-.. .-- .- -.-- ... / ... ..- .-. .--. .-. .. ... . -.. / - --- / -.-. --- -- . / .... --- -- . / .- -. -.. / ..-. .. -. -.. / -- --- - .... . .-. / -. .- - ..- .-. . / -... .-.. --- .-- .. -. --. / - .... . / -. . .. --. .... -... --- .-. .-.-.-

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Big Bang Big Boom - The new wall painted animation


An unscientific point of view on the beginning and evolution of life and how it could probably end.



Directed and Animated by BLU
Produced and Distributed by ARTSH.it (send you enquiries there)
Soundtrack by ANDREA MARTIGNONI
Original video posted on: http://blublu.org/sito/blog/?p=777

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

One Coin Routine



Monday, November 1, 2010

Oops - I forgot to hit 'record'!



Saturday, October 30, 2010

From zero to 100km/h (62 mph) in just 2.9 seconds!


Don't try this at home with your dishes!


Friday, October 29, 2010

Incredible 3-D Illusion



Thursday, October 28, 2010

Does "Often" have a silent "t"? I don't no!




Read the full article below:
British Library to chart how English language evolves

The Black Swan

GMAT, LSAT, GRE Toronto

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tell Tale Heart - Edgar Allen Poe (NSFW or For Weak Hearted)


Monday, October 4, 2010

Donald Duck meets Glenn Beck


"This is a re-imagined Donald Duck cartoon remix constructed using dozens of classic Walt Disney cartoons from the 1930s to 1960s. Donald's life is turned upside-down by the current economic crisis and he finds himself unemployed and falling behind on his house payments. As his frustration turns into despair Donald discovers a seemingly sympathetic voice coming from his radio named Glenn Beck."

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

iPad, New Yorker and Jason Schwartzman = clever marketing


Here's an amusing little video from The New Yorker in which Jason Schwartzman demonstrates the magazine's new iPad app. Seems it works in all types of environments, and with the user in various states of undress

Monday, September 27, 2010

The road not taken


Two roads divulged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Gandhi's 7 sins



Friday, September 24, 2010

nothing to bemoan, only work to be done!


"It is pointless bemoaning the fact that human nature is sinful and carries the seeds of evil within it. There is nothing to bemoan, only work to be done. All faults, whether of vanity, pride, anger, jealousy or sensuality, must be put to work. That is the only proper way of looking at it, the only proper solution. It is work that counts. Do not concern yourself with anything else; your qualities and faults are secondary. When you have found which work is best and have made up your mind to sincerely devote yourself to it, both your qualities and your faults will become your best servants.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

East/West Spirit/Matter


"The origin of all imbalance is the lack of balance that exists between spirit and matter. It is this lack of balance that brings in its wake all the other kinds of anomaly we see in existence. Spirit and matter are two poles, two principles which human beings need to know how to work with intelligently, sensibly and carefully.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

What about the ones that just stare?


"All children cry when they are born, but not in the same way. Some are heard to make a touching, plaintive sound: they are expressing nostalgia for the region of light, joy and peace they have left. As if they have accepted in advance the trials that await them, whereas many others cry in a desperate, tragic fashion, screaming rebelliously, as if they feel like caged animals and already know their life will be like a prison.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Vorsprung durch technik


"This video shows how the Audi A1 gets built at the Bruxelles production plant. The new Audi city car, created as a rival to Mini, looks like it’s going to be a success from day one and it will be interesting to see how its fortunes pan out over the next year."

Friday, September 17, 2010

Another brick in the wall!


Front Row Centre

The Amazing Face




Saturday, September 4, 2010

It seems a trifle queer


"The time has come", Said Eddington,
"To talk of many things;
Of cubes and Clocks and meter-sticks,
And why a pendulum sings,
And how far space is out of plumb,
And whether time has wings.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Inspiration upon inspiration upon inspiration


In Wes Anderson’s fourth film, we follow sea captain and oceanographer Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) as he treks through the sea in search of the illusive Jaguar shark that ate his partner Esteban. In one scene, Steve Zissou breaks the fourth wall and gives a guided tour of his ship named the Belafonte to the audience. The Belafonte set is a gigantic cross-section of a ship, allowing the audience to see simultaneously into every room and compartment. In a long continuous take, the camera pans from side to side, showing all of the rooms and their inhabitants.

E=mc2


Haven't come across a better lecture on the most famous equation. Decide for yourself!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's all relative! Apple Live Event Look Back ...


Simultaneity and Time Dilation


From the 'common sense' point of view, the most remarkable properties of special relativity arise from the relativisation of time. The very concept of simultaneity - events taking place at the same moment - depends on the relative speed of the observer and is not, as Newton would have it, an absolute concept.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The battle at Kruger (6 yrs ago)


You know that a YouTube video has become famous when it has its own Wikipedia page. This is an epic battle between a pride of lions, a herd of Cape buffalo, and few crocodiles shot in September of 2004 at a watering hole in Kruger National Park, located in South Africa.

Shukran, Dziakuju, Doh je, Tashakkur, Danke schön


"Someone comes to see me and explains why they feel so unhappy. I ask them, 'Have you given thanks today?' 'Given thanks? Who to? What for?' 'Can you walk, breathe?' 'Yes.' 'Have you had your
lunch?' 'Yes.' 'And can you open your mouth to speak?' 'Yes.'

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dr. Quantum - Pls help!


The double-slit experiment has been of great interest to philosophers, because the quantum mechanical behavior that it reveals has forced them to reevaluate their ideas about classical concepts such as "particles", "waves", "location", and "movement from one place to another".

I prefer Single Malt!


"It is the custom in all countries to take something for the people you are visiting - some flowers, cakes, sweets, and so on. This tradition, which is very old, is based on a law: you should not visit someone empty-handed. And not only should you not arrive empty-handed, but it is desirable that when you go to meet people you always do so with the wish to offer them something of the goodness of your heart and soul.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Son of a preacher man


Multi-platinum debut album, Mercury Prize shortlist, second album equally multi-platinum, received one nomination at the 2005 Grammy Awards, also nominated for best new artist, the youngest British female singer to top the UK Albums Chart in history to have her first album at number one, third album achieved gold record status by the RIAA and yielded the second-ever highest debut for a British female solo artist on the Billboard 200, won two BRIT Awards and one Grammy Award.

Gods must be crazy!


"Plato, in his dialogue entitled Symposium, recalls the myth of the original androgyne. In very early times, there would have been human creatures living on the earth which were both male and
female: they were spherical in shape and had two faces, four arms, four legs, two sets of genital organs, and so on.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

What? Half a million asteroids? In 30 Yrs?


Notice now the pattern of discovery follows the Earth around its orbit, most discoveries are made in the region directly opposite the Sun. You'll also notice some clusters of discoveries on the line between Earth and Jupiter, these are the result of surveys looking for Jovian moons. Similar clusters of discoveries can be tied to the other outer planets, but those are not visible in this video.

Glenn Beck, you reading this?


"There are people who claim to be inspired by heaven. And how does this inspiration manifest? They gesticulate, roll their eyes around, give incoherent speeches, or else they remain frozen for hours in a posture of simulated ecstasy. Well, the truth is, they are unbalanced, ill, as is proven by the rest of their behaviour.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Et tu, Brute?


Don't ask Don't tell, eh!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Ph.D - Demystified




Click here for a graphic explanation by Prof. Matt Might of what a Ph.D is all about(!)

4th Dimension


Explained by the best there is ...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Interference Pattern


Nature does double slit experiment way better...

World's population by latitude and longitude


Sum of all population at each degree of latitude and longitude

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Frankenstein Revisited


Coming soon to a theatre near you

The hammer and the feather


Galileo's thought experiment

Monday, August 23, 2010

BFFs-once upon a time until forever!


It can happen that you stop caring about a friend for whom you had a lot of affection, and you tend then to think it is because they have changed: they have lost something of what made you like them. Actually, it may be you who have lost an element that allowed you to appreciate them.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Useless, dishonest, liars ...


"It is obvious that humans are imperfect, but if your attitude is to constantly criticize them it's not at all constructive. You should ask yourself whether you are merely wanting to give vent to your discontent and exasperation or whether you really wish to help them.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Be patient!


"Be patient, and you will live a long life. You'll say, 'But that's not possible; I have to expend so much energy putting up with difficult situations and difficult people.' No, on the contrary, you waste most energy when you are impatient. Calmness and patience strengthen vitality and prolong life. People who explode and then say, 'Ah! That feels better!' do not realize that what they consider to be better is actually a great loss.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The sun is the source of universal love


"The sun is the source of universal love: it leaves its particles of life in all of nature, and we then receive these particles via stones, plants, animals and even humans. Yes, men and women also possess a few particles from the sun, but only very few, of course, because they don't make the effort to attract them; this is why they are unable to bring one another fulfillment.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Namaste!


"Bringing the hands together is one of the gestures of prayer, and it is a gesture full of meaning. The right and left hand coming together represent the union of mind and heart, of thought and feeling. The mind, thanks to its light, finds the best request to make to heaven, and the heart supports this request with its warmth.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Truth can be very simply defined


Truth can be very simply defined: it can be likened to a medal, one face of which is love, the other wisdom. If the truth you seek is independent of love and wisdom, that is, independent of
the heart and the mind, you will never find it. But as soon as you have love and wisdom you also have truth, even without seeking it. You won't find truth as a principle in itself - it can only exist for those who know how to work with both heart and mind.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Have you seen wild animals in a circus?


Have you seen wild animals in a circus? As long as the tamer is there, they keep quiet and obey him, but as soon as he leaves them, they growl and provoke each other and are ready to pounce
on each other.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Our Importance


When you're feeling so important
And your ego is in bloom
When you simply take for granted
You're the wisest in the room.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Anyway


People are often unreasonable,
Illogical and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse
You of selfish motives;
Be kind anyway.

Monday, June 21, 2010

If...


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
And make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about don't deal in lies
Or being hated don't give way to hating
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise;

Monday, June 14, 2010

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt


Talking about prophecies and oracles in the last post reminded me of another story about Apollo and oracles, at least equally famous, at least equally relevant. This is the story of Cassandra, Princess of Troy. (it begins just before the Mycenaean Greeks invade Troy to start the Trojan war.) She was the smartest and the most beautiful of the daughters of King Priam.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Prophecy is a lost art


Apollo, an Olympian, was god of the Sun. He was also in charge of other matters, one of which was prophecy. That was one of his specialties. Now the Olympian gods could all see into the future a little, but Apollo was the only one who systematically offered this gift to humans. He established oracles, the most famous of which was Delphi, where he sanctified the priestess. She was called the Pythia, after the Python that was one of her incarnations. Kings and Aristocrats, and occasionally ordinary people, would come to Delphi to beg to know what was to be.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Roses are red, Violets are blue


Because all colors other than red are preferentially absorbed inside the petal. The mixture of light waves strikes the rose. The waves are bounced around helter-skelter below the petal's surface. As with a wave in a lake, after every bounce the wave is weaker. But blue and yellow waves are absorbed at each reflection more than red waves. The net result after many interior bounces is that more red light is reflected back than light of any color, and it is for this reason that we perceive the beauty of red rose.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Four seasons of a tree


There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Friendship can sustain disagreement


Having a serious disagreement with a friend through the course of past few days made me realize that real friendship can sustain disagreement, can accommodate opposing views and still hold together.

Monday, May 10, 2010

But it hurts...


The giraffe gives birth standing up, so the first thing that happens to a new-born giraffe is a fall of about two metres. Still dazed, the baby tries to stand up on its four legs, but its mother behaves very strangely: she gives the baby giraffe a gentle kick which sends it sprawling. It tries to get up and is again knocked down.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Truth will set you free


Wise King Wen asked to visit the palace prison. And he began listening to the prisoners' complaints. 'I'm innocent,' said a man accused of murder. 'I'm here simply because I wanted to give my wife a fright, but I accidentally killed her.'

Monday, April 26, 2010

How do we know?


A Taoist master and his friend, a famous logician, were standing on the bridge that crossed the river Hao.

The Taosit looked down and said, "How happy the fish are!"

The Logician said, "How do you know whether the fish are happy or not?"

Monday, April 19, 2010

Three Questions


Once a king decided that if he knew the answer to three questions, he would be the master of life itself:
When is the best time?
Who is the most important person?
What is the most vital thing to do?

Monday, April 12, 2010

What are you carrying?


Once two Zen monks were walking together through the woods. They came to a broad, shallow river and began hitching up their robes for a walk across to the other side. Suddenly, a short distance away, a beautiful young woman dressed in wedding finery stepped out of the forest and paused before the river. By observing the troubled expression on her face and the way she paced back and forth, the monks could tell that she needed to get across, but couldn't without ruining her clothes. The older monk said to the younger one, "I will offer to carry her across."

Monday, April 5, 2010

How do you do?


Ἐπίκτητος (55 A.D.-135 A.D.) was born a slave in Turkey and became one of the great stoic philosophers of Rome. He was expelled from the city in 94 A.D. and it was while in exile that he came up with a way of teaching his followers.

His teachings were noted down and published by his pupil Arrian in his discourses. Here is an extract from his Art of Living.

Monday, March 29, 2010

What is that all women desire above all else?


As the story goes, long ago, King Arthur was hunting a hart. He ran the great deer into a fern thicket and killed it there. Just after the king had tasted the meat, a powerful and heavily armed knight charged in and accused the king of mistreating him for many years by giving his land away to Arthur’s favourite knight, Sir Gawain. In his rage, the formidable knight, Sir Gromer Somer Joure, came close to killing the king on the spot. However, Arthur skilfully convinced him that it would not be chivalrous, since Arthur was only in his light hunting gear than full armour.

Monday, March 15, 2010

millions, billions, trillions - who cares!


There is an old joke about the planetarium lecturer who tells his audience that in 5 Billion years the Sun will swell to become a bloated red giant, engulfing the planets Mercury and Venus and eventually consuming the Earth.
An anxious member of the audience corners the lecturer:
“Excuse me, Doctor; did you say that the Sun will burn up the Earth in 5 billion years?”
“Yes, more or less.”
“Thank God. For a moment I thought you said 5 million.”

Monday, March 8, 2010

Calculation King should have demanded of his Vizier


The way I first heard the story, it happened in ancient Persia. The Grand Vizier (وزير), the principal advisor to the king, had invented a new game. It was played with moving pieces on a square board comprised of 64 red and black squares. The most important piece was the King. The next most important piece was the Grand Vizier. The object of the game was to capture the enemy King. The game was called Shahmat (بازی شطرنج)– Shah for King and Mat for defeat. In Russian it is still called Shakhmat (шахматы). (Even in English there is an echo of this name: Check-Mate). As time passed, the pieces, their moves and the rules of the game all evolved; there is, for example, no longer a Grand Vizier – instead a Queen. And, of course, the game is Chess.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I am because you are


Watching winter Olympics for the past 17 days reaffirmed my belief in the principle of emptiness and interconnectedness.

Physicist David Bohm suggested that one of the key factors giving rise to the pervasive strife between peoples and nations is “a kind of thought that treats things as inherently divided, disconnected...where each part is considered to be essentially independent and self-existent”.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fat and Happy


Various biological studies have shown that if a toad is placed in a container along with water from his own pond, he will remain there, utterly still, while the water is heated, even when the water reaches boiling point. The toad does not react to the gradual increase in temperature and dies when the water boils.

Fat and happy.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Does that seem little to you?


An old king of India condemned a man to the gallows. When the king had finished reading the sentence, the condemned man said:

'You are a wise man, Your Majesty, and curious about everything that your subjects do. You respect gurus, sages, philosophers and fakirs.

Well, when I was a child, my grandfather taught me how to make a white horse fly. Since there is no one else in the whole kingdom who knows how to do this, my life should be spared.'

Monday, February 8, 2010

Innocence and Irresponsibility


Once when Confucius was travelling with his disciples, he heard of a very intelligent boy living in a particular village. Confucius went to see and talk to him and he jokingly asked:

'How would you like to help me do away with all the irregularities and inequalities in the world?'

Monday, February 1, 2010

iPhone is all I need


After he had won independence for India, Mahatma Gandhi visited England. He was walking through the streets of London with some other people when his attention was drawn to the shop window of a famous jeweler's.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I`m in my element!


'How did you enter the spiritual life?' asked a disciple of the Sufi master Shams Tabrizi.

'My mother said that I wasn't mad enough for the madhouse or holy enough for the monastery,' replied Tabrizi. 'So I decided to devote myself to Sufism, in which we learn through free meditation.'

Monday, January 18, 2010

May you all be forgotten


 'May you all be forgotten,' said the monk. 

'But why?' one of the disciples asked. 'Does that mean that our example can never serve to help someone in need?'

'In the days when everyone was just, no one paid any attention to people who behaved in an exemplary manner,' replied the monk.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Chief, how many names do you remember?

Zisi asked Confucius: 'if King Wen were to ask you to govern the country, what would be your first action be?'

'I would learn the names of all my advisers', came the reply.

'What nonsense! This is hardly a matter of great concern to a Prime Minister.'

Monday, January 4, 2010

I want my TIME back. What’s your return policy?


I am sure I am not the only one who thinks that the prescription filling process in Canada takes way much more time than their counterparts in Europe or Asia where most pharmacies not even have an automated filling system to help them with the processing speed and lower patient waiting time.